What You Are Doing vs. What We Need For You to Do

When taking the steps to live your passion fully, you often must transition out of whatever situation you are in that takes you away from that. Just because you can do something doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to, or want to, be doing it. So, when is the best timing to leave safety and security to soar into the vast unknown? When can you trust the pull of your call strongly enough to know that everything will come together to support you?

Today’s Love Note…

There is nothing like the cold, hard slap of reality to smack you back into remembering your why, which is what happened to me this morning.

You see, I am currently in a situation that gives me great independence, flexibility and freedom. I couldn’t be more grateful to have had this support during a season of multiple personal transitions, but I have this constant gnawing inside, something in the core of my being that is crying out. I’ve felt it for many years. At first, I couldn’t put my finger on it. As I began to listen, I became frustrated because I wanted to understand what that pulling sensation was. Some people define it as finding their purpose.  During those years, I suppose I did too. I am a True Purpose™ Certified Coach through the True Purpose Institute. The work that I did with them lead to many of the changes and shifts I initiated in my own life to follow my own true purpose.

I’ve been in this place before, the place of making a major leap towards my dreams. Only this time, I am being more mindful and therefore, careful (so I think). But oh, hesitancy and those pesky disruptions; the things that seemingly come out of nowhere to poke us back in to remembering the urgency of our work.

I’m humming along in a meeting, planning the week and organizing my agenda for a day project when the meeting goes a little off track and I do a quick check in of the news. What I see makes everything about my day, about the triviality of it all, pale in comparison.

You see, a young mom in New Jersey murdered her newborn infant this past Friday. The manner in which she did it was unbelievably horrific. The first thoughts I have are, what kind of abuse did this woman endure growing up? What kind of mental illness does she have? How does a woman carry an infant to term, birth the baby and then destroy life like that?

I am sure the details around this tragic event will be forthcoming, but in the meantime, you and I both know that events like this are unfortunately, not uncommon. When these events arise, many people respond with hate and judgement, rightly claiming that the infant was the victim. Somewhere along the line though, so was the mother. Locking her up, throwing away the key, executing her…none of those will solve the problem that yet another young mother in America will again traumatize, abuse or kill her children.

We can say we don’t know why and that we don’t care why, but how does that help? How does that heal our fellow humans in any way? Might this have been prevented had someone cared years ago? Where along the lines of this woman’s life could something (or someone) have so radically impacted her life, a tragedy like this may have never happened?

With all of the hurt, suffering and torment in the world, it is easy for us to build our cocoons and shield ourselves and our families. We think that giving money to charity or feeding the homeless once a year might help, but not for situations such as what happened with this mother in New Jersey.

We need to be compassionate givers of ourselves in order to change the face of America. By that, I mean we need to become conscious of ourselves and mindful of our impact on others. We cannot rely on social programs to fix the broken parts of humanity. There is too much need to go around.

There are way too many facets of brokenness in this world to address in this article, but my point is, once you become mindful of your behavior and impact on others, your relationships begin to change. Where there was once anger, there is now kindness. Where you had judgement, now lies compassion.

In another tragedy earlier this year, a father threw his five-year old daughter off of a bridge. What drove this father? He had a history of domestic violence with adult women, yet had custody of his daughter. What steps could have helped this man deal with his anger before such a tragedy occurred with his own child?

With no judgement, just think to yourself, what if everyone just cared? What if we all just cared about ourselves and each other? What if we made the conscious choice to get our emotions under control and learn how to interact with people in a loving and peaceful way?

It’s easy to wonder what difference it would make in the world, but I’m only talking about your world, your little corner of the universe. That’s the first step. Making the choice to learn how to not yell so much at the kids, to become less critical of our spouse or partner, to navigate our working relationships in such a way that it doesn’t disrupt our emotional balance. By learning to gain control of our emotions and care for our mental health, we teach our children and those around us to do the same.

Can you just imagine a world where everyone just took charge of their own inner dialogue? If we just stopped dumping the nastiness that is inside of us onto others, found new ways to release those years of traumas, abuse and patterns to become healthier, more positive and loving individuals?

We would naturally stop abusing our children and each other. We would cease to create the patterns that our children will grow up learning to overcome. I agree it’s idyllic. But so are the many other causes that people become passionate about. Causes that people give their lives for.

There are big problems in our world. People fight everyday for the billions without clean drinking water, for the hundreds of thousands of children who are being abused in sex-trafficking rings, for women being killed under Sharia law, for the Saudi blogger, a husband and father, who is receiving 50 lashes a week for the next 19 weeks and will probably die as a result.

In America, we are so caught up with consumerism and distraction, it is easy not to notice the problems in our own backyard. It is easier to judge, throw the broken parts of humanity in prison or institutions and move on with our lives. But nothing will change until we do. If you believe every life is precious, as I do, then it’s time to take action.

America can be a bright beacon of hope and a refuge. An oasis for the lost and broken.  Yet, how can we be a shining light to the world when our own live in such darkness?  What was broken in 1776 isn’t what is broken in the world today. A new America, a compassionate America is what the world needs to see.

To many people on our planet, the USA in 2014 looks like a broken society pushing itself on others, often aggressively. While this depiction sounds ridiculous to most Americans, we must understand that is widely held by billions of people over the globe, including by many who are not congenitally anti-American. – John R. Schindler

Though the quote above was pulled from this article, which takes a more political stance, the sentiment is the same. We are a broken society, pushing itself on others (and each other) often aggressively. Our internal structures are only emanating outwardly. We treat other countries like we often treat other people in our society.

Taking back our country isn’t about aggression, riots and protests. It’s about being a shining example, having compassion for our fellow-man and being a beacon of love and hope. I can see America the Beautiful. Can you see it too?

Love, Ricci



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